thanks to my sweet friend mandy, i am resurrecting the blog. i hope to go in a new direction this time around. actually, since my life feels like it's heading somewhere new, the blog will probably follow along just fine.
so i was just in london 2 weeks ago. the trip was amazing. more about that later. for now, i can say this; while there (& since then) i've begun to hear this amazing call to come & die. it sounds a little morose, right? - a little bit like a marytr-complex coming on, but it feels like anything but. i met a few older folks over there (3 couples all in their 70's - 80's), who were broken people that God was doing just amazing things in. it's not like i can pin down exactly what it is that makes them so inviting to be around - what makes people so free to be honest around them - why so much laughter in their circle of friends.... but whatever it is that they have - i want. i listened intently to what made them light up the most (thinking that might be the key to getting "it") suprisingly, what they were most passionate about was the 'come & die' thing. (& my response was; 'what?')
okay, so say that 'coming & dying' IS what has made their lives so powerful and winsome and unlike the lives of most other people I know... what would hold me back from jumping in? well, everything. i LIKE living life my way on my terms. i don't like dying to what you think of me, what i think of me... that damned survival instinct is putting up it's dukes! i do hear the call though. i know it's been quoted so often, but jim elliott said it well; "he (she) is no fool that gives up what he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose." current status? it feels like the pre-tremors of an earthquake coming on... i don't know where this is all going to lead, but know it is somewhere incredibly hard (impossible, right?) and beautiful. more to come.
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